Consult Your Doctor Before Following This Regimen
DAY ONE
Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg, 1 piece or toast with grape jam. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jam over your face and clothes. Lunch 4 crayons (any colour), a handful of crisps, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner A dry stick, 2 coins, zt sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.
DAY TWO
Breakfast Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extrac-or 1 vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch Half tube of “Pulsating Pink” lipstick and a handful of Pedigree Dog food (any flavour). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and con-tinue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.
DAY THREE
Breakfast 2 pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat I with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday’s sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch 3 matches, peanut butter and jam sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner Dish of ice cream, handful of crisps, some red cool drink. Try to laugh some cool drink through your nose, if possible.
FINAL DAY
Breakfast A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavour), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add a half cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner Drop pieces of spaghetti onto back of dog, insert meatball into ear. Dump pudding into Kool-Aid and suck up with a straw.
REPEAT DAYS AS NEEDED!
(c) Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg
это практически быль!
по-крайней мере, заплесневелую корочку хлебца мы отбирали у голубей (а потом мама 2 недели заламывала руки над ребёнком с тяжёлым пищевым отравлением…)
и помада, за неимением сабачьки, и соответ-но, собачьей еды, была сьедена напрямую. как и остальные компоненты итальянского жутко дорогого комплекта Pupa…
Это отрывок из книги, написанной одной из “супер нянь”.
ну я и говорю: у нас это была ни капли не fiction, а вполне даже быль
:))))
Моя годовалая фефочка расшвыривает ложки так, что они падают за батарею! И всегда найдет, чем поживиться на полу… Крошки, засохшие или в принципе сухие макароны и прочие лакмства… Я уже даже не отбираю. Пусть ест))
:))
Похоже, но ето все-таки шутка. :))
А вот реальность: http://tridaktna.livejournal.com/102678.html :))
Это из книги Baby whisperer :)))